Rambling Heart-Thoughts
I haven't blogged in a bit, not even a "Hey, I made it back safely from the mission trip" post. I apologize. I think I've just had too much on my heart and mind to sit down and type an entry. I'm afraid that I'm going to end up writing some long, rambling thing that doesn't make any sense and jumps from subject to subject. That very well may be, I guess we'll find out. Since I don't know exactly where to start or what to focus on, this may turn out a little disorganized. So if you're OCD, don't say I didn't warn you.
I'll begin simply: Hello all. I made it back safely. The mission trip was awesome. God was definitely at work.
I feel like the trip deserves more explanation that that, but it will come in time.
God's been doing a lot of work on my heart lately. As we've been going through the book, Respectable Sins, I have been more and more aware of how the smallest failures deeply hurt both my relationship with Christ on a personal level, and what others view of my walk with Him. It keeps coming back to something very simple: it all starts at the heart level. If my heart- my innermost desires, thoughts, and feelings-are not in line with the example that Christ set, then others will never see Christ in my words and actions. A few verses that really convicted me from this week's session came from Matthew 12. The second part of verse 34 says, "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Then in verses 36 & 37, "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."
Whoa. You know how they say the eyes are the window to the soul? Well, Jesus said that the mouth is the window to the heart. Not only that, but I will be held accountable for every careless word I speak-not every bad thing, every mean thing, or every malicious thing-every careless thing. You know those comments that are made jokingly and offhand? They have the power to acquit and condemn.
This is what really got me though: If Christ lives in me-if He dwells in my heart-and if the mouth puts into words what is in the heart, shouldn't everything I say reflect Him? Shouldn't every word that I speak bring glory to His name?
I may refrain from cursing and try to stop myself from gossiping, but I know for a fact that not every single word that comes out of my mouth glorifies God. So where do I go from here? [insert Relient K lyrics]
A verse that I read last week in Ephesians was also brought up in this session. Ephesians 4:29 says,"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." So there we have it. Paul doesn't beat around the bush or try to word things ambiguously. No unwholesome talk should come out of our mouths. Mr. Webster gives a few definitions of unwholesome: Not wholesome; deleterious to health or well-being, physically or morally; disgusting, detestable. That's only a few. So nothing that is deleterious, or harmful, should come out of our mouths. Nothing that is disgusting. Nothing that is detestable. Only that which is encouraging, helpful for building others up. Moreover, we are not to say these things for our benefit or selfish gain. Only what is encouraging according to their needs. And whatever we say should benefit those who listen-so we shouldn't say anything that could possibly turn someone else away from Christ.
Kind of limits conversation, huh? I know that among my family and friends, sarcasm thrives. A Christian speaker I heard recently shared with us his "spiritual gift of sarcasm." I'm not trying to be radical. I'm not a one woman rebellion trying to change conversation as we know it. My point is simply that I need to be more aware of the things that I say. I need to stop and ask if what I'm saying reflects Christ. And I need to make a point to be more encouraging. After all, "a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." (Proverbs 25:11)
See? I've managed to get off on a tangent. Okay, focus. Heart matters. Selfish desires of the heart are something I've been having to deal with. For example, when I decide to do something, what's my motive? If my motive isn't pure, if it isn't to allow God to gain all the glory from a situation, then it is selfish and wrong-and therefore sinful. If I find myself considering scenarios about my future and they are ones that I have come up with, not plans God has placed there, they are selfish-and therefore sinful. All of these selfish, sinful motives and desires cloud my heart and corrupt it. The only way for me to live a life that is truly surrendered to Him and set apart for Him is to recognize these sinful motives and desires and rid myself of them as quickly as possible, by seeking forgiveness and then asking Him to fill my heart with His desires for my life. Then, and only then, can Christ truly have all of my heart and use my life for His glory.
I've been pondering quite a bit lately-and this isn't nearly everything. What I need to do is sit down and write about these things individually so that they make more sense. Maybe in time this will happen. For now, I'm going to get some rest. Hopefully I will sit down and write a detailed account of the mission trip in the next couple of days. Maybe as long as I keep the words flowing, I won't get behind on writing them and end up with another post such as this one. My apologies for any disorganization, rambling, or wording that doesn't make sense. You should know, however, that entries such as this are a raw reflection of what's on my heart at the moment. I'm not holding back for fear of thinking what I say might come across as weird. I'm not editing it until the words blur together. I'm not trying to use what God is showing me as means of lecturing or preaching at people. I'm just leaving it here for you to see what God's doing in my heart. This is all about my shortfalls, God's grace, and what He's teaching me. I just pray that God will find a way to use these words for His glory. I hope you'll handle my heart-thoughts kindly.
I'll begin simply: Hello all. I made it back safely. The mission trip was awesome. God was definitely at work.
I feel like the trip deserves more explanation that that, but it will come in time.
God's been doing a lot of work on my heart lately. As we've been going through the book, Respectable Sins, I have been more and more aware of how the smallest failures deeply hurt both my relationship with Christ on a personal level, and what others view of my walk with Him. It keeps coming back to something very simple: it all starts at the heart level. If my heart- my innermost desires, thoughts, and feelings-are not in line with the example that Christ set, then others will never see Christ in my words and actions. A few verses that really convicted me from this week's session came from Matthew 12. The second part of verse 34 says, "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Then in verses 36 & 37, "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."
Whoa. You know how they say the eyes are the window to the soul? Well, Jesus said that the mouth is the window to the heart. Not only that, but I will be held accountable for every careless word I speak-not every bad thing, every mean thing, or every malicious thing-every careless thing. You know those comments that are made jokingly and offhand? They have the power to acquit and condemn.
This is what really got me though: If Christ lives in me-if He dwells in my heart-and if the mouth puts into words what is in the heart, shouldn't everything I say reflect Him? Shouldn't every word that I speak bring glory to His name?
I may refrain from cursing and try to stop myself from gossiping, but I know for a fact that not every single word that comes out of my mouth glorifies God. So where do I go from here? [insert Relient K lyrics]
A verse that I read last week in Ephesians was also brought up in this session. Ephesians 4:29 says,"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." So there we have it. Paul doesn't beat around the bush or try to word things ambiguously. No unwholesome talk should come out of our mouths. Mr. Webster gives a few definitions of unwholesome: Not wholesome; deleterious to health or well-being, physically or morally; disgusting, detestable. That's only a few. So nothing that is deleterious, or harmful, should come out of our mouths. Nothing that is disgusting. Nothing that is detestable. Only that which is encouraging, helpful for building others up. Moreover, we are not to say these things for our benefit or selfish gain. Only what is encouraging according to their needs. And whatever we say should benefit those who listen-so we shouldn't say anything that could possibly turn someone else away from Christ.
Kind of limits conversation, huh? I know that among my family and friends, sarcasm thrives. A Christian speaker I heard recently shared with us his "spiritual gift of sarcasm." I'm not trying to be radical. I'm not a one woman rebellion trying to change conversation as we know it. My point is simply that I need to be more aware of the things that I say. I need to stop and ask if what I'm saying reflects Christ. And I need to make a point to be more encouraging. After all, "a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." (Proverbs 25:11)
See? I've managed to get off on a tangent. Okay, focus. Heart matters. Selfish desires of the heart are something I've been having to deal with. For example, when I decide to do something, what's my motive? If my motive isn't pure, if it isn't to allow God to gain all the glory from a situation, then it is selfish and wrong-and therefore sinful. If I find myself considering scenarios about my future and they are ones that I have come up with, not plans God has placed there, they are selfish-and therefore sinful. All of these selfish, sinful motives and desires cloud my heart and corrupt it. The only way for me to live a life that is truly surrendered to Him and set apart for Him is to recognize these sinful motives and desires and rid myself of them as quickly as possible, by seeking forgiveness and then asking Him to fill my heart with His desires for my life. Then, and only then, can Christ truly have all of my heart and use my life for His glory.
I've been pondering quite a bit lately-and this isn't nearly everything. What I need to do is sit down and write about these things individually so that they make more sense. Maybe in time this will happen. For now, I'm going to get some rest. Hopefully I will sit down and write a detailed account of the mission trip in the next couple of days. Maybe as long as I keep the words flowing, I won't get behind on writing them and end up with another post such as this one. My apologies for any disorganization, rambling, or wording that doesn't make sense. You should know, however, that entries such as this are a raw reflection of what's on my heart at the moment. I'm not holding back for fear of thinking what I say might come across as weird. I'm not editing it until the words blur together. I'm not trying to use what God is showing me as means of lecturing or preaching at people. I'm just leaving it here for you to see what God's doing in my heart. This is all about my shortfalls, God's grace, and what He's teaching me. I just pray that God will find a way to use these words for His glory. I hope you'll handle my heart-thoughts kindly.
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