A Piece Of My Story & God's Perfect Faithfulness
Today is the tenth anniversary of my mother's death. I debated on whether or not to post anything, because the last thing I want to do is write something that seems depressing, dramatic or attention seeking. So, know from the beginning, that is not the purpose of this post.
While the loss of my mother is not something I dwell on, and it's not as if my world stops turning every year when Sept. 4 rolls around, it seems wrong to let the day pass without some sort of acknowledgement. I do not wish to go on and on about what my mom was like or what I miss about her. It's enough to simply say: My mother was amazing. Losing her drastically changed my life. It mattered. It's part of my story, and the manner in which God has revealed Himself during the past decade is not something that should be brushed aside or tucked away.
That being said, here's what you need to know about this part of my story. My mom was an amazing woman who truly loved the Lord. She was a phenomenal mother; I couldn't have asked for a better example of what it means to really love the way Christ does. Part of what made her such a terrific mom was simply that she loved being a mother. It wasn't a burden; it was truly a joy, and it showed. She was an incredible wife, mother, daughter, aunt and friend, and she is dearly missed.
Like I said, this is not a part of my story I dwell on. Do I wish I could get to know my mom as an adult, and have a close friendship with her? Absolutely. Was navigating the teenage years without her difficult? Of course. But my God is perfectly faithful, and He is so, so good. God has held my family together; he enabled my dad to navigate the journey of suddenly becoming a single parent of four children. He has given me special relationships with my Grandma and Aunt Lisa, my mom's mother and sister. Although no one can replace the close relationship I had with my mom, God has given me two godly women to help me navigate this thing called womanhood. Not just godly women, but ones who knew my mom's heart, and who are able to provide the same sort of input I would have received from her.
God has blessed me with the most incredible church family; I'm not exaggerating. These people know how to show God's love in tangible ways, and they don't grow weary of being Christ's hands and feet. I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am for them. And I am so glad God has given me the opportunity to invest in this body of believers as an adult.
You want to know what true friends look like? They have a sleepover the night that your mom dies. They cry with you, laugh with you, and brave school with you the next morning. They let you borrow clothes and act like it's no big deal when you break something or blow candle wax everywhere. They are prayer partners; they are the sweetest girls you will ever meet; and they have grown into kind, godly women that I am still honored to have friendships with. The Lord, in his wisdom, placed them in my life with His perfect timing. He knew exactly what kind of support system I would need come September 4, 2003.
Time and time again, God has displayed His perfect faithfulness in my life. I have seen how He can take circumstances that shake a person's world and work them into a beautiful purpose. I have come to know that throughout all the changes and transitions of life, He is steadfast. In times when emotions were running wild, no one understood me and my dad was "so unfair," God was gracious enough to speak to my heart and draw me to Him. This past week, through different avenues, God has reminded me of the intimate nature of the relationship I have with Him. He knows my whole story, and He knows the entire contents of my heart, even those things hidden in the deepest parts. I am once again in awe, and so grateful, that He allows me to have this personal relationship with Him.
He was not surprised, as we were, by what occurred September 4, 2003. He blessed me with 13 great years with my mom, and I am so thankful for that. He has constantly been at work in my life and my family ever since then. He has not forsaken us. He is mindful of us. And He is so, so good. To Him be all glory, honor and praise!
While the loss of my mother is not something I dwell on, and it's not as if my world stops turning every year when Sept. 4 rolls around, it seems wrong to let the day pass without some sort of acknowledgement. I do not wish to go on and on about what my mom was like or what I miss about her. It's enough to simply say: My mother was amazing. Losing her drastically changed my life. It mattered. It's part of my story, and the manner in which God has revealed Himself during the past decade is not something that should be brushed aside or tucked away.
That being said, here's what you need to know about this part of my story. My mom was an amazing woman who truly loved the Lord. She was a phenomenal mother; I couldn't have asked for a better example of what it means to really love the way Christ does. Part of what made her such a terrific mom was simply that she loved being a mother. It wasn't a burden; it was truly a joy, and it showed. She was an incredible wife, mother, daughter, aunt and friend, and she is dearly missed.
Like I said, this is not a part of my story I dwell on. Do I wish I could get to know my mom as an adult, and have a close friendship with her? Absolutely. Was navigating the teenage years without her difficult? Of course. But my God is perfectly faithful, and He is so, so good. God has held my family together; he enabled my dad to navigate the journey of suddenly becoming a single parent of four children. He has given me special relationships with my Grandma and Aunt Lisa, my mom's mother and sister. Although no one can replace the close relationship I had with my mom, God has given me two godly women to help me navigate this thing called womanhood. Not just godly women, but ones who knew my mom's heart, and who are able to provide the same sort of input I would have received from her.
God has blessed me with the most incredible church family; I'm not exaggerating. These people know how to show God's love in tangible ways, and they don't grow weary of being Christ's hands and feet. I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am for them. And I am so glad God has given me the opportunity to invest in this body of believers as an adult.
You want to know what true friends look like? They have a sleepover the night that your mom dies. They cry with you, laugh with you, and brave school with you the next morning. They let you borrow clothes and act like it's no big deal when you break something or blow candle wax everywhere. They are prayer partners; they are the sweetest girls you will ever meet; and they have grown into kind, godly women that I am still honored to have friendships with. The Lord, in his wisdom, placed them in my life with His perfect timing. He knew exactly what kind of support system I would need come September 4, 2003.
Time and time again, God has displayed His perfect faithfulness in my life. I have seen how He can take circumstances that shake a person's world and work them into a beautiful purpose. I have come to know that throughout all the changes and transitions of life, He is steadfast. In times when emotions were running wild, no one understood me and my dad was "so unfair," God was gracious enough to speak to my heart and draw me to Him. This past week, through different avenues, God has reminded me of the intimate nature of the relationship I have with Him. He knows my whole story, and He knows the entire contents of my heart, even those things hidden in the deepest parts. I am once again in awe, and so grateful, that He allows me to have this personal relationship with Him.
He was not surprised, as we were, by what occurred September 4, 2003. He blessed me with 13 great years with my mom, and I am so thankful for that. He has constantly been at work in my life and my family ever since then. He has not forsaken us. He is mindful of us. And He is so, so good. To Him be all glory, honor and praise!
"O Lord, You are my God; I will exalt You and praise Your name. For in perfect faithfulness, You have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1
Samantha,
ReplyDeleteYour words are so beautifully written with such heartfelt meaning. Yes, your mother is truly missed . . . for so many reasons! Her smile, her laugh, her warmth, her compassion, her unconditional love (most of all) are only a few of the amazing characteristics that I long for and remember so fondly. You are an amazing legacy to her life! Thank you for sharing your heart with such grace. I love you, Sweetheart!
~Pam Marney